When the beam sleeps, the scientists shall awake

Or otherwise known as, getting out of the corrugated steel jungle and into something vaguely resembling the real world.

Now as you might have guessed, CERN is a big place. A ridiculously big place. It is however a ridiculously big place filled with physicists. For those that know physicists they have a predisposition to, lets obsessive working. I don't just mean working diligently every day, I mean the fairly frequent post 9pm hack-a-thon of which the stuff of legends is made from. Which is awesome. Some of the time. This of course breeds a somewhat subdued restlessness amongst the populace. Some get over this by "working" more (I use the term working loosely here), others by drinking quite incredible quantities of booze (seriously, there's some epic drinkers amongst the physicist community. Quite scary at times), and some of us by burning off our energy is silly and somewhat random ways.

Like the high class sport of Jugger, ably created by that bastion of weird past times, the Germans. Its strange, it involves hitting one another with sticks, it involves time and a half counting, it involves a dog head for a ball (substituted with tape film due to lack of dead poodles). Well, see for yourself.

Not just this of course, there's a variety of random things that happen. Like a random mini-LARP festival in the middle of the French countryside. Complete with Trollball. Or maybe even searching through the tunnels of CERN. Or cycling from Geneva to Annecy, and back again.

Why yes, Geneva/France has something random for all of the family. Even more bizarrely, my little town of about 8,000 has 2 theatres. TWO! And three bakeries. All of which serve disgustingly good cakes and bread. I think you can see where this one is going. The next to the next best thing about here, FOOD.

ZOMG the food. Now realise this is France, you could eat at a different café/restaurant/bistro every day of the week for a month and still have some left to spare if you wanted to. But that's not half of the fun. The fun is realising that there are almost as many super-markets and random butchers lying around. All of which sell large varieties of food. And due to the huge Lebanese, Algerian and Slavic populations here, a good international selection too. So one should take advantage of this, naturally. So I tried making hummus It tasted of chick peas and garlic, a roaring success! Next on the list is fallafal, totally not just because I have left over chickpeas from the hummus. And spicy bean burritos. LIKE THIS. MANLY MANLY BURRITOS! I'll let you know how that turns out later.

And last and best of all. There is an abundance of pain. Not just normal pain, but martial pain, and food pain, and KORGOTH PAIN!

Why you don't let scientists write music...

Sung to the tune of Rasputin by one Boney M. Or if you're slightly more amp inclined, growled to the tune of Rasputin by Turisas

There lived a learned man in the lab long ago
He was smart and mad, in his brain a flame did grow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to data hungry gits he was such a cause of cheer
He could steer the beams like a sniper
Aline them finely with a wire
But he also was the kind of creature
Insanity would desire

RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the proton beam
There was a man that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Pilot of the big machine
It was a shame how he carried on

He ruled a certain lab and never mind the bar
But the collision he caused, really wunderbar
In all affairs of beam he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a bunch to squeeze
For the DG he was no wheeler dealer
Though he'd heard the things he'd done
He believed he was a holy healer
Who could do no wrong

(Spoken:)
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger
for power became known to more and more people,
the demands to do something about this outrageous
man became louder and louder.

"This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies
But the machines begged "Don't you try to do it, please"
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden trickss
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms
Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame
"Come to visit us" they kept demanding
And he really came

RA RA RASPUTIN
Steerer of the particle beam
They put some quench into his line
RA RA RASPUTIN
Pilot of the big machine
He turned it on and he said "Its just fine"

RA RA RASPUTIN
Steerer of the particle beam
They didn't quit, they wanted 7TeV
RA RA RASPUTIN
Pilot of the big machine
And so they quenched it, the plebs