One day when the world sleeps...

The clicker-clacker of keyboards shall reverberate in these hallowed halls of learning.

So, picture this, it's Saturday night. It's fairly warm outside. The world is abuzz with news and new things for us all to explore. One could cross from country to country seeing new things. And what am I doing at 12.30 on Sunday morning? Writing a progress report for my home institute (I've started taking up the European habit of calling them institutes, I feel it represents reality more closely). Such is the high flying life of physics graduate student. But given I barbecued half a cow last night I consider this a fair trade off.

But on a more serious note, the importance of writing and paperwork more than ever in sciences. Science is a funny old fellow. In nothing else does reputation matter so much as in science. You see, when you have no reputation, people don't know whether to think your crazy or actually saying something useful. Given how... erm... focused (yes that's the best word. Obsessive-compulsive doesn't have the same ring to it) a lot of research is, sometimes this s literally the only point of reference many people as to whether you're work is going to be interesting or not.

This leads us to the existence of that most strange of beasts, the academic conference! What a cesspit of sin and inequity these things are! Anywhere from 20 to several thousand people all grasp for your attention, with posters, presentations, talking, grabbing innocent passers by... its so... random. Admittedly I've only been to one (but that's soon to change...) but holy tit creepers. Sitting through 9 hours of presentations in one day... well fine that happens on occasion. Doing it for a week is pushing human endurance however (although the guy from Oxford that sounds like Brian Blessed is a riot. On a random note here's the one I went too, the second week I started my PhD). Which is occasionally a downright shame because of the presentations are exceptionally interesting (RF breakdown science for instance). This is of course padded out by the 60 pages in 20 minutes on brazing techniques.

But think about, in a week you have to get a scope of what possibly hundreds of other scientists in your area are working on. Not just this, but you have to show off to these people as well. Talk to them, tell them about your work (and get told about theirs. Quite a lot) and generally make yourself known in the world of *insert your subject here*. But then on the other hand you get to generally brag about how awesome you are. Technically you're showing off rigorous and respectable contributions to public knowledge, but I still maintain that there's still an air of just showing off whatever clever/impressive new thing you've done. Even if impressive is analysing data from a giant box of argon for 3 years to pick a statistically significant data sample to detect little particles. But such is the life of scientist.

But what happens when your name is tarnished? Well... in short, you're fucked. I don't mean a Peter Mandelson, "Blink and I'll be back!" screwed. I mean you'll have to change you career screwed. Like everything, you won't be remembered for the potentially good work you did, but for the epic fuck up you made. Be it for a sense of justice, the keeping the good name of science clean or just because people want to prove that you're wrong and their data is right, pain comes your way.

But seriously, its awesome!